Wanted
A Pet, a Dog
A Boy's Dog
A dog I can get old with.
Looking for a non-shedding don't-make-me-sneeze dog. Must be
into melding minds. Appreciation of Buddhism appreciated, but not a must.
You: Cute, active, enjoys a day on the trails, but evenings
home in front of the telly. Digs cold weather, but grooves on a summer day. Lives
in the now. Willing to teach me how to live in the now. Willing to sit with me,
and meditate.
Enjoys books. Not slippers.
Me: Hard to follow, but still I expect it. Likes long walks
down secluded paths, some alive with prairie dogs, some without. Smells. I like
a path that smells, but I don't get close like you might want to. That's fine,
do your thing. I'm not going to watch. I won't judge.
Must appreciate our differences.
Must enjoy quiet walks, as well as the loneliness of a quiet
walk.
I prefer young, but I don't want to appear rigid here in
public, so whatever age you are, you should at least say hello.
Send pictures please.
I want a dog who's not afraid to tell me what they're
thinking. But more than that, I want a
dog who lets me tell them what I'm thinking.
That's really why I want a dog. Someone to tell my thoughts
to.
That's how it's going to be between us. Me telling you
stuff. Not that I'm bossy, I'm not bossy. I just want to tell you stuff. It'll
be nice, a nice diversion. Doesn't mean we won't enjoy one another's company.
Perhaps we'll enjoy one another's company more, this way.
Must be able to listen.
Must come when called.
Must sit, stay, roll over when asked. Can you shit on
command? I want to help you shit on command.
Teach you how to stick your paw out. I like a dog with a
firm shake.
Can we agree on that?
Me: Willing to work with you.
You: possibly a Rottweiler? (PS, I love Rottweilers. You
could be #1―on the list of dogs I'm considering.) If Rottweiler, females only,
please. You big bowsers, you're too hard on a leash. The girls are just the
right size. Plus there's an insurance agent next door, and you know how they can
get.
Labradoodles, don't be shy, would love to hear from you. I admire a dog with a brain. Sometimes, I
like to think of myself as a dog with a brain. Maybe you're brainy enough to
tell me, explain―why are there so many different types of Labradoodles? F1's,
F2's, F1B's, F― that. Are you tough? Can
you handle yourself? I mean, a dog like you and a me looking like me, walking
around, we'll gonna get picked on. We're gonna get in fights. You up for a
fight? Cause that's why I really want a
dog, you know. Someone to go out and get in fights with. Tell folks it's not
our fault. It's just how we are. It's our nature.
Beaucerons, Pharaoh Hounds―we've had our time together, and
you've taught me so much. Let's not cheapen it. Let's not try to figure out if we
were really as good as we remember.
That's why I want a dog. Someone to show me my faults.
That's what it's really about.
Look, I don't want to appear pretentious. I'm just talking,
you know. I'm like that. I talk. Just don't get tired of me talking. You don’t
have to understand what I'm saying, just don't get tired of me saying it.
All relationships fake a little. Ask the Beauceron.
Ask the Pharaoh Hound.
Must enjoy hikes, but not every day. Should like cold
weather, breaking snow tracks, and be leash-trained well enough that I can keep
my hands in my pockets on cold winter strolls, in case I forget my gloves. Or
they're missing.
Please don't take this next part as abandonment and go chew up my
socks or something, but I bicycle summer mornings, and you're not invited. It won't be good for you.
That's why I want a dog. So I can go bicycling by myself. Then go home, and there's someone there to come home to. Glad to see me. That's the
real reason I want a dog.
I like Dobermans. Did I mention Dobermans? Boston
Terriers?
No shedding please.
Is there anyone out there who can help?
